THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

Act 4 Scene 3

(Enter Katherine and Grumio)
l1l	Grumio	 No, no, forsooth. I dare not, for my life.
l2l	Katherine	The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
l3l		What, did he marry me to famish me?
l4l		Beggars that come unto my father’s door
l5l		Upon entreaty have a present alms,
l6l		If not, elsewhere they meet with charity.
l7l		But I, who never knew how to entreat,
l8l		Nor never needed that I should entreat,
l9l		Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,
l10l		With oaths kept waking and with brawling fed,
l11l		And that which spites me more than all these wants,
l12l		He does it under name of perfect love,
l13l		As who should say if I should sleep or eat
l14l		’Twere deadly sickness, or else present death.
l15l		I prithee, go and get me some repast.
l16l		I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
l17l	Grumio	What say you to a neat’s foot?
l18l	Katherine	’Tis passing good. I prithee, let me have it.
l19l	Grumio	I fear it is too choleric a meat.
l20l		How say you to a fat tripe finely broiled?
l21l	Katherine	I like it well. Good Grumio, fetch it me.
l22l	Grumio	I cannot tell, I fear ’tis choleric.
l23l		What say you to a piece of beef, and mustard?
l24l	Katherine	A dish that I do love to feed upon.
l25l	Grumio	Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.
l26l	Katherine	Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest.
l27l	Grumio	Nay, then I will not. You shall have the mustard,
l28l		Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
l29l	Katherine	Then both, or one, or anything thou wilt.
l30l	Grumio	Why then, the mustard without the beef.
l31l	Katherine	Go, get thee gone, thou false, deluding slave,
l32l		(Beating him)
		 That feed’st me with the very name of meat.
l33l		Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you,
l34l		That triumph thus upon my misery.
l35l		Go, get thee gone, I say.
		(Enter Petruccio and Hortensio, with meat)
l36l	Petruccio	 How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
l37l	Hortensio	Mistress, what cheer?
	Katherine	Faith, as cold as can be.
l38l	Petruccio	Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me.
l39l		Here, love, thou seest how diligent I am
l40l		To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee.
l41l		I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
l42l		What, not a word? Nay then, thou lov’st it not,
l43l		And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
l44l		Here, take away this dish.
	Katherine	I pray you, let it stand.
l45l	Petruccio	The poorest service is repaid with thanks,
l46l		And so shall mine before you touch the meat.
l47l	Katherine	I thank you, sir.
l48l	Hortensio	Signor Petruccio, fie, you are to blame.
l49l		Come, Mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.
l50l	Petruccio	(aside)
		 Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lov’st me.
l51l		(To Katherine)
		 Much good do it unto thy gentle heart.
l52l		Kate, eat apace# and now, my honey love,
l53l		Will we return unto thy father’s house,
l54l		And revel it as bravely as the best,
l55l		With silken coats, and caps, and golden rings,
l56l		With ruffs, and cuffs, and farthingales, and things,
l57l		With scarves, and fans, and double change of bravery,
l58l		With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knavery.
l59l		What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure,
l60l		To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.
		(Enter Tailor with a gown)
l61l		Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments.
l62l		Lay forth the gown.
		(Enter Haberdasher with a cap)
		 What news with you, sir?
l63l	Haberdasher	Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.
l64l	Petruccio	Why, this was moulded on a porringer—
l65l		A velvet dish. Fie, fie, ’tis lewd and filthy.
l66l		Why, ’tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
l67l		A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap.
l68l		Away with it! Come, let me have a bigger.
l69l	Katherine	I’ll have no bigger. This doth fit the time,
l70l		And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
l71l	Petruccio	When you are gentle you shall have one, too,
l72l		And not till then.
	Hortensio	
		(aside)
		 That will not be in haste.
l73l	Katherine	Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak,
l74l		And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.
l75l		Your betters have endured me say my mind,
l76l		And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
l77l		My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
l78l		Or else my heart concealing it will break,
l79l		And rather than it shall I will be free
l80l		Even to the uttermost as I please in words.
l81l	Petruccio	Why, thou sayst true. It is a paltry cap,
l82l		A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie.
l83l		I love thee well in that thou lik’st it not.
l84l	Katherine	Love me or love me not, I like the cap
l85l		And it I will have, or I will have none.
		(Exit Haberdasher)
l86l	Petruccio	 Thy gown? Why, ay. Come, tailor, let us see ’t.
l87l		O mercy, God, what masquing stuff is here?
l88l		What’s this—a sleeve? ’Tis like a demi-cannon.
l89l		What, up and down carved like an apple-tart?
l90l		Here’s snip, and nip, and cut, and slish and slash,
l91l		Like to a scissor in a barber’s shop.
l92l		Why, what o’ devil’s name, tailor, call’st thou this?
l93l	Hortensio	(aside)
		 I see she’s like to have nor cap nor gown.
l94l	Tailor	You bid me make it orderly and well,
l95l		According to the fashion and the time.
l96l	Petruccio	Marry, and did, but if you be remembered
l97l		I did not bid you mar it to the time.
l98l		Go hop me over every kennel home,
l99l		For you shall hop without my custom, sir.
l100l		I’ll none of it. Hence, make your best of it.
l101l	Katherine	I never saw a better fashioned gown,
l102l		More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable.
l103l		Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.
l104l	Petruccio	Why true, he means to make a puppet of thee.
l105l	Tailor	 She says your worship means to make a puppet
l106l		of her.
l107l	Petruccio	 O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble,
l108l		Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail,
l109l		Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket, thou.
l110l		Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread!
l111l		Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant,
l112l		Or I shall so bemete thee with thy yard
l113l		As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv’st.
l114l		I tell thee, I, that thou hast marred her gown.
l115l	Tailor	Your worship is deceived. The gown is made
l116l		Just as my master had direction.
l117l		Grumio gave order how it should be done.
l118l	Grumio	I gave him no order, I gave him the stuff.
l119l	Tailor	But how did you desire it should be made?
l120l	Grumio	 Marry, sir, with needle and thread.
l121l	Tailor	 But did you not request to have it cut?
l122l	Grumio	 Thou hast faced many things.
l123l	Tailor	I have.
l124l	Grumio	Face not me. Thou hast braved many men. Brave
l125l		not me. I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto
l126l		thee I bid thy master cut out the gown, but I did not
l127l		bid him cut it to pieces. Ergo thou liest.
l128l	Tailor	(showing a paper)
		 Why, here is the note of the
l129l		fashion, to testify.
l130l	Petruccio	Read it.
l131l	Grumio	The note lies in ’s throat if he say I said so.
l132l	Tailor	(reads)
		 “Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown.”
l133l	Grumio	Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me
l134l		in the skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom
l135l		of brown thread. I said a gown.
l136l	Petruccio	Proceed.
l137l	Tailor	(reads)
		 “With a small compassed cape.”
l138l	Grumio	I confess the cape.
l139l	Tailor	(reads)
		 “With a trunk sleeve.”
l140l	Grumio	I confess two sleeves.
l141l	Tailor	(reads)
		 “The sleeves curiously cut.”
l142l	Petruccio	Ay, there’s the villany.
l143l	Grumio	Error i’ th’ bill, sir, error i’ th’ bill. I commanded
l144l		the sleeves should be cut out and sewed up again, and
l145l		that I’ll prove upon thee though thy little finger be
l146l		armed in a thimble.
l147l	Tailor	This is true that I say. An I had thee in place
l148l		where, thou shouldst know it.
l149l	Grumio	I am for thee straight. Take thou the bill, give
l150l		me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.
l151l	Hortensio	Godamercy, Grumio, then he shall have no
l152l		odds.
l153l	Petruccio	 Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.
l154l	Grumio	 You are i’ th’ right, sir. ’Tis for my mistress.
l155l	Petruccio	(to the Tailor)
		 Go, take it up unto thy master’s use.
l156l	Grumio	(to the Tailor)
		 Villain, not for thy life. Take up my
l157l		mistress’ gown for thy master’s use!
l158l	Petruccio	Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?
l159l	Grumio	O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for.
l160l		“Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use”—O
l161l		fie, fie, fie!
l162l	Petruccio	(aside)
		 Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.
l163l		(To the Tailor)
		 Go, take it hence. Be gone, and say no more.
l164l	Hortensio	(aside to the Tailor)
		 Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow.
l165l		Take no unkindness of his hasty words.
l166l		Away, I say. Commend me to thy master.
		(Exit Tailor)
l167l	Petruccio	 Well, come, my Kate. We will unto your father’s
l168l		Even in these honest, mean habiliments.
l169l		Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor,
l170l		For ’tis the mind that makes the body rich,
l171l		And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
l172l		So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
l173l		What, is the jay more precious than the lark
l174l		Because his feathers are more beautiful?
l175l		Or is the adder better than the eel
l176l		Because his painted skin contents the eye?
l177l		O no, good Kate, neither art thou the worse
l178l		For this poor furniture and mean array.
l179l		If thou account’st it shame, lay it on me,
l180l		And therefore frolic# we will hence forthwith
l181l		To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.
l182l		Go call my men, and let us straight to him,
l183l		And bring our horses unto Long Lane end.
l184l		There will we mount, and thither walk on foot.
l185l		Let’s see, I think ’tis now some seven o’clock,
l186l		And well we may come there by dinner-time.
l187l	Katherine	I dare assure you, sir, ’tis almost two,
l188l		And ’twill be supper-time ere you come there.
l189l	Petruccio	It shall be seven ere I go to horse.
l190l		Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,
l191l		You are still crossing it. Sirs, let ’t alone.
l192l		I will not go today, and ere I do
l193l		It shall be what o’clock I say it is.
l194l	Hortensio	(aside)
		 Why, so this gallant will command the sun.
		(Exeunt)